What Does It Mean to Be Strong?

Being strong physically and emotionally is essential to being a man. Emotional strength is something that is sorely lacking in today’s men. Emotional strength is so important that this is why other men and women are hard wired to shit test you. Yes, other men will shit test you and if you think about it, you shit test other men. The reason is simple: women shit test to see if you are a worthy mate, men shit test to see if you are someone worthy of allowing into their tribe. Ultimately, a shit test is something that is testing your emotional strength.

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In short, emotional strength boils down to having an incredibly strong sense of self. The lion knows who he is. There is no angst, no anxiety, no worry, he IS the king of the jungle.

 

A strong sense of self is your frame. If you read any PUA sites or forums you’ll immediately notice that frame and frame control are among the most written about topics. The PUA definition of frame is certainly true, yet myopic. Your frame is much more than just passing shit tests and controlling your interactions with women. Your frame is your belief system. It is the set of beliefs that guide you in all interactions, not just with women. Once you’ve established your belief system then you must be congruent with your inner beliefs. This is often referred to as integrity. Behaving this way becomes your frame. You need to know who you are, how you interact with the world around you. Violating your integrity will cost you. The less you live authentically, the more depressed you become.

To begin with, you must find your core values and beliefs. Who are you and what do you stand for? What are your non negotiable stances? You should know who you are in relation to all things. If you don’t know any of these things then work on establishing these foundations. One of my favorite quotes on this topic comes from “Operation Werewolf”: “Know who you are by becoming who you want to be.”

Who do you want to be? What would you look like if you were this man? How would you behave if you were the man that you want to be? What would that man stand for? How would his relationships be with other people? Be honest with yourself. Remember, you are not living someone else’s life and they aren’t living  yours. In this quest of yours taking time to write in a journal will be essential. I would also recommend controlling your thoughts by mindfulness and presence. Once you have a basic idea then begin to act like that man. Action will be the only thing that changes you. Be authentic. As you gain strength your own weaknesses will be more apparent to you. This can be frustrating. For most guys it is demoralizing and they give up. While you will act to correct your weaknesses, you should also accept that you have them; every man does. As you uncover more and more of yourself in relation to who you want to be, your ideal may change. This is OK, it means that you are growing.

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Strive for consistency in your moods and behaviors but balance it with passion for life and fearlessness. While I am a major fan of reading and educating myself, much of your progress in this area will come from the ring or the gym. In order to know yourself and who you really are you must fight and you must lift. Getting into a ring with another man and fighting or grappling is a great equalizer; there is no bullshit. The gym will also teach this to you as 300 lbs is always going to be 300 lbs; either you can lift it or you can’t. As Henry Rollins said; “Learning about what you’re made of is time well spent and I’ve found no better teacher.”

Finally, its not all about you. Others are relying on you to be a strong man; society, your business, your buddies, your wife, your kids,, your animals and your parents. They all need you more than ever to dig deep down and become the strong man that you are destined to be.

Until next time.

 

A Letter to My Sons About Porn

There has been a “letter” floating around Facebook recently that a woman has written to her young sons about the dangers of porn. Despite her best intentions her wording and the general feel of the letter will not resonate with her sons, they will reject it. Its time to stop treating boys like little girls and feminizing them by allowing women to raise them. Therefore, I’ve decided that I would write to my future sons about this issue.

Dear sons;
You will face many temptations throughout your life. They vary in size, scope and seriousness. I want to talk to you about the temptation that pornography will confront you with and the very real things that will happen to you if you indulge in watching it.
It is normal for you to like women. It is normal for women to like you, as a matter of fact if you listen to the advice that I give you about women they will be falling all over you when you get older. One of the most important lessons that you must learn in life is to never, ever be ashamed of your desires as a man. Never be ashamed of being a man. Avoiding porn is not about being ashamed of your desires, most of all it is about avoiding fantasy and avoiding the pitfalls of the beta male.
Watching porn will not make you go blind just as masturbation will not make you grow hair on your palms, these are old wives tales. What pornography and masturbation will do to you is weaken your will. Both will sap your male energy, your drive and your ambition. It will destroy the things that make other men look up to you and women desire you. You will need to start working on your character right now. Porn, drugs and immoderate use of alcohol will stunt that growth. For some guys it stunts the growth of their character for 20, 30 or 40 years! Don’t be one of those guys. Be a man.
Women desire a man of action, a man of character, a strong man who will lead them and protect them from their own emotional rollercoaster and the storms of life. When you meet a woman that you are going to want to spend the rest of your life with you will need to be the man, right then and there. There will be no practice session and no learning curve. The man must be in control, emotionally strong, a rock against the waves of her emotional storm. You will never become this man  by watching porn, you will be a shell of a man that she will soon lose attraction for. You will wind up watching other people have sex while she goes out and finds someone else to have sex with.
Before you know it, you will be my age. Life goes fast. Your wife will age. Listen to these words of mine; you must be the man that your wife respects and looks up to. Your wife must keep herself sexually attractive to you.  While she must keep herself attractive for you as she ages, you must also realize that neither of you will perpetually be 24 years old. Porn will give you unrealistic expectations of this. If you want your marriage to succeed, you will need to consistently be a man worthy of respect and demand that your wife take care of herself physically, and remain attractive to you. Friendship in marriage will develop only from proper gender roles in the marriage. Try to be your wife’s “friend” first and your marriage will fail, I guarantee it. Always, always, always keep the polarity strong.

Being involved in watching porn will drain the masculine energy from you. Have you seen men who radiate a charisma and masculine energy and strength? If you think that women love this, you’d be correct. These men do not watch porn, its antithetical to that energy. Watching porn will drain you of this energy and make it very difficult for you to talk to women, be competetive in sports and succeed in life. You will be a shell of a man.

Porn is addictive. Before you know it, you can easily have wasted hours in one sitting. Those are hours of your life that you will never get back, hours that you could have spent getting stronger, smarter, braver, closer to God.

These are some of the negative things that can happen to you by watching porn. What I want you to take away from this are the positive things that will happen to you by not watching porn. You will make wise use of your time. You will be a man, you will radiatate this masculine energy. While other guys are hunched over their phones watching other people have sex, you will stand out like a lighthouse. You will effortlessly attract women. You will be the kind of man that all the girls want. You will be able to channel your masculine energy into succeeding in life. You will build success upon success. You will be the envy of the boys and the comrade of men.

Does that sound good to you? Yeah, it sounds good to me too. Then you will be the man that I will be proud to call my son.