Dominance

wolf-1518937_1920

 

If you want to succeed in life you must be dominant. In order to work, dominance must be authentic, consistent and congruent in all areas of your life. You can’t be a pussy in the gym and expect to go out and dominate women or your business.

What I mean is this: look at the guys who are the losers, the 95%. Their lives are at the mercy of others, the weather, the market or the alignment of the stars. You name it and they have an excuse. They work jobs that they hate, living with women who don’t respect them and look forward to pissing away their whole weekend on video games and weed.
If they have a relationship with a woman, and I use this term lightly, they are dominated by her. They are dominated by her moods, her whims, her wants and “needs”. These are the guys who are married for 10 years and maybe get laid once per year on their birthday, maybe. These are the “male feminists” who march in the womens’ march flashing their SJW street creds.
Conversely, the dominant man is the one who has control over his life. He controls how he feels, thinks, what he puts into his body. He is dominant, yet respectful. He exerts total dominance over women. If they don’t like it, they are free to walk, yet they rarely do.
His woman adores him. He gets laid often, and many times it is her who initiates the sex. He dominates in the bedroom.
This is a noble pursuit and it begins with your daily life, habits and thoughts. You cannot be dominant in one area of your life and submissive in another. You must have consistency, integrity and have your thoughts and actions line up with each other. I cannot stress this enough. If you aren’t at that point then this will need to become your first priority. Begin by setting a schedule for yourself and living by it. Get your house in order first. Be authentic, because one of the greatest factors in being dominant is a true ZFG attitude.
Here are some ways to be dominant starting today:

Thoughts: This is the first step. Begin by consciously thinking dominant thoughts. You must get rid of insecurities first. If you don’t, you will become domineering rather than dominant. There is a huge difference. A domineering personality comes from insecurity. True dominance doesn’t require disrespect. Actually, the foundation of dominance has to do with self respect which in turn reflects itself in a healthy respect for others. Work on thinking thoughts worthy of self respect. Think positive, strong, masculine thoughts. It takes a consistent, focused effort to think in this way but it is essential to get this down. This is another reason why it is necessary to cut out the tv, video games and other distractions. These things put your mind in a passive mode. You want your mind to be in active mode, actively pursuing thoughts that you want it to and creating the life that you want to live. Live a deliberate life.

 

Boundries: If you choose to become a dominant force in your own life then people will test you. Women will test you. Expect it. Thrive on it. If you are truly dominant these tests will mean nothing to you. You’ll pass them and people will just respect you more. Some boundries that you may need to work on are as follows: your time, how people treat you, how you expect to be treated, your views of the world, religion, politics and your overall outlook on life. Begin by setting out a schedule for yourself and follow through to a “T”. No compromises. Get use to saying “no”.

suit-1971665_1920

Style: Your style of dress needs to be dominant. Start dressing like a man: sharp, masculine and exuding strength form inside.
Business: Rise to the top. Be bold. Be outrageous. Be the man. Take charge of your work. Dominate your sphere. I will give you a word of warning in regards to business: weigh dominance carefully if you work for someone else. Dominance can get you to the top of the heap but it can also get you fired. So, you make the decision as to how you are going to utilize it. Now, if you are running your own game in business then you have no choice but to be dominant. The success or failure of your life depends on you: take charge of it!
Dating and Relationships: Take the reigns. You are the man therefore you are in charge of the relationship. I want to write a word on chivalry. The chivalric code was developed for warriors in order to give a guideline on how to act in the company of the fairer sex. Even on the right, chivalry gets a bad rap. Many well meaning guys believe that being a “white knight”, and pedastilizing women is chivalry. Conversely, many guys think that they should only treat “ladies” with respect nowadays. Both are wrong and have nothing to do with chivalry. Chivalry is about dominance in the public sphere, this is why man-hating feminists hate it. This is also why a feminine woman will love it. Try this: next time you are walking into a store and you see that woman, smile and open the door for her. She will seethe with contempt and spit venom at you. Why? Because you are showing male dominance.

Remember, being “nice” is weak, but a strong man willing to be kind is like catnip to women. Dominate her in all aspects of life including the bedroom. She will love you for it.
Health and fitness: You must dominate in the weight room. Think about it; you’ll be lifting weight that could kill you. If you don’t dominate it and take positive control of the weights, they will literally crush you. A dominant mindset will help you lift more as well. Think of yourself as the strong man that you want to be. Get yourself into a dominant frame of mind, even thinking of yourself as much bigger and stronger than you are. You’ll see the difference in the weight that you push and soon, with a lot of hard work, you will be that bigger and stronger man. I want to write a few words about martial arts and weight training as well. These two disciplines will not “give” you a dominant mindset. Nothing is given to you or me. What they do is set up the conditions for a man to learn how to think properly to overcome his boundaries and weaknesses. For a man, these two disciplines are essential for all aspects of life.

Until next time.

 

The New Year

There are two ways that you can ring in the New Year. You can get so drunk that you need at least a whole day to recover, or you can celebrate like a man and get down to work.

date-2284993_1920

The New Year is something to celebrate. Once again, it is a time with family and friends to celebrate the accomplishments of the old year, memorialize those that left us in that year as well as look forward to crushing new goals and accomplishments.
Festivities give us small breaks to re-energize us on our journey. The New Year celebrations do this for our goals and life plans. Take a step back, take an honest inventory of the past year. Now, with renewed vigor, celebrate and move forward towards accomplishing what you want in life.
I generally have my goals for the next year put on paper by late October. I would suggest this method, but if you haven’t yet done this, it is not too late. Take the time today to get away from distraction, quite your mind and write down the things that you want to do in the next 3 years, and the next year. I have material goals, but I also have others dealing with fitness, character and the like. I suggest you do the same.

There is much to be done, so why would you want to start the year on the same note as the vast herds of sheeple who are partying their lives away? I would suggest beginning the year with a 30 day challenge of your own. If you don’t already do it, add in 30 days of cold showers. Start the year off right.

 

Wishing you a happy and prosperous 2018.

 

 

 

 

What Does It Mean to Be Strong?

Being strong physically and emotionally is essential to being a man. Emotional strength is something that is sorely lacking in today’s men. Emotional strength is so important that this is why other men and women are hard wired to shit test you. Yes, other men will shit test you and if you think about it, you shit test other men. The reason is simple: women shit test to see if you are a worthy mate, men shit test to see if you are someone worthy of allowing into their tribe. Ultimately, a shit test is something that is testing your emotional strength.

lion-1209289_1920

In short, emotional strength boils down to having an incredibly strong sense of self. The lion knows who he is. There is no angst, no anxiety, no worry, he IS the king of the jungle.

 

A strong sense of self is your frame. If you read any PUA sites or forums you’ll immediately notice that frame and frame control are among the most written about topics. The PUA definition of frame is certainly true, yet myopic. Your frame is much more than just passing shit tests and controlling your interactions with women. Your frame is your belief system. It is the set of beliefs that guide you in all interactions, not just with women. Once you’ve established your belief system then you must be congruent with your inner beliefs. This is often referred to as integrity. Behaving this way becomes your frame. You need to know who you are, how you interact with the world around you. Violating your integrity will cost you. The less you live authentically, the more depressed you become.

To begin with, you must find your core values and beliefs. Who are you and what do you stand for? What are your non negotiable stances? You should know who you are in relation to all things. If you don’t know any of these things then work on establishing these foundations. One of my favorite quotes on this topic comes from “Operation Werewolf”: “Know who you are by becoming who you want to be.”

Who do you want to be? What would you look like if you were this man? How would you behave if you were the man that you want to be? What would that man stand for? How would his relationships be with other people? Be honest with yourself. Remember, you are not living someone else’s life and they aren’t living  yours. In this quest of yours taking time to write in a journal will be essential. I would also recommend controlling your thoughts by mindfulness and presence. Once you have a basic idea then begin to act like that man. Action will be the only thing that changes you. Be authentic. As you gain strength your own weaknesses will be more apparent to you. This can be frustrating. For most guys it is demoralizing and they give up. While you will act to correct your weaknesses, you should also accept that you have them; every man does. As you uncover more and more of yourself in relation to who you want to be, your ideal may change. This is OK, it means that you are growing.

man-1282232_1920

 

Strive for consistency in your moods and behaviors but balance it with passion for life and fearlessness. While I am a major fan of reading and educating myself, much of your progress in this area will come from the ring or the gym. In order to know yourself and who you really are you must fight and you must lift. Getting into a ring with another man and fighting or grappling is a great equalizer; there is no bullshit. The gym will also teach this to you as 300 lbs is always going to be 300 lbs; either you can lift it or you can’t. As Henry Rollins said; “Learning about what you’re made of is time well spent and I’ve found no better teacher.”

Finally, its not all about you. Others are relying on you to be a strong man; society, your business, your buddies, your wife, your kids,, your animals and your parents. They all need you more than ever to dig deep down and become the strong man that you are destined to be.

Until next time.

 

The Well Dressed Leader

If you look at any number of websites or books centered around being an alpha male, you will, without a doubt, come across the topic of dressing well. First off, be very careful where you go for men’s style advice, a lot of the famous PUA’s dress like clowns. I’m not a fan of “peacocking”. It’s much better to be a well dressed badass. Think James Bond.
This is an important topic for several reasons. The first is that dressing well reflects your inner disposition. What do you think of when you picture a guy with ill-fitting clothes, shirt untucked, not groomed? Yeah, you think he’s a slob and that is what he thinks of himself inside. If he didn’t feel this way about himself he would never dress like this, even when no one is looking.
What do you think of a guy who wears a suit that “kind of” fits him, finished off with a Disney tie? Beta shlub? Yeah, once again you are right. You’re probably looking at a dude whose wife disdains him. That’s the dude who gets laid once per year and the rest of the time anesthetized by a steady stream of junk food, porn, video games and watching sports.
Finally, there is the man who you see with a suit that fits him well, he’s wearing a power tie and french cuffs. You got it, that’s the alpha male. Don’t mistake this for a man obsessed with his looks, he’s not a metro sexual by any means, rather this is a man who knows how to look good and has a solid sense of self that reflects in how he dresses.

I can’t overstate the importance of dressing well and taking care of yourself for a healthy inner disposition. When I was in the service and going through a survival course, the importance of retaining normalcy in a survival situation was always stressed. Even in dire straits, you maintain military bearing, shave, wash, take care of yourself when possible. This is how important you outward appearance is to you. A lot of otherwise masculine men will downplay the importance of dressing well, seeing it as being metro sexual. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Being vain, feminine and metro sexual means dressing for others. Being a masculine man who dresses well, a well dressed badass, means that you dress this way for yourself. The secondary benefits will be how others will treat you, including women.

What should you do if your internal dialogue/image is not where it needs to be? What you can do is turn the dynamic around and use your external appearance to help you think better.

Here are some things that you can do immediately to improve the way you dress:

  1. Purchase a custom tailored shirt, jacket or suit. Wearing a well-tailored suit sets you apart immediately from those around you. Most guys in America today rarely wear a suit. When they do put one on they are visibly uncomfortable in it. You will stand out like a light house in your customer tailored suit and shirt combo. You can purchase either or both here for a great price.
  2. That being said, you’ll be looking fantastic in your newly tailored suit, so you’ll need to wear it. Get into the habit of wearing your suit. Going out for a couple of drinks? Put it on. Go out for a nice dinner? Put it on. Going downtown to do some shopping? Put it on. Get used to being in a suit. I guarantee that you’ll also notice the difference in how people treat you. You’ll like it.
  3. Always wear french cuffs with a jacket. Get several shirts made with french cuffs. Cuff links are not expensive. You can get yourself several pairs to change things up. This is where your individuality comes in. Find masculine cuff links that you like. This will allow you to have several sets to change things up.
  4. Purchase several ties. Go with power ties and power colors. You are a man, dress like it. Do NOT, I repeat Do NOT wear ties with Disney characters, superheros, sports team logos or anything like that. If you dress like a clown you will deservedly be treated like a clown. Consider yourself warned. If you live in Great Britain or any of the Commonwealth and have earned the honor to wear a regimental tie, do it; I’m jealous of you.
  5. Wear a pocket square every single time that  you wear a jacket.
  6. Wear a nice, masculine watch. You can find a good variety of reasonably priced watches on Amazon.
  7. Start to experiment. Find your particular style. Look to Europe, particularly England, for masculine ways to dress well. While there are some good blogs around for men that are coming out of America, I still recommend looking overseas. The reason is that masculine style is about more than just the surface, it’s about tradition, it’s about strength. America doesn’t have the tradition of a masculine aristocracy, so you’ll have to look elsewhere.
  8. Don’t ever walk into a church service wearing anything but a suit.
  9. Do not wear a tie without a jacket.

With summer coming up I will be posting about summer style and how you can kill it at the next bbq or an evening on the town in warm summer weather.

Until next time.

Why You Should Be A Nationalist.

What is a nationalist? It is someone who loves their culture, their ways and traditions. Contrary to the hive mind propaganda, being a nationalist has absolutely nothing to do with being a racist, fascist or Nazi. Being a nationalist means that you look out for the interests of your people. Being a nationalist allows you to recognize other’s pride in their own people, traditions, religion and customs as well. How can that be? Its simple. Here’s an example: Do you have a family? Do you look after your family? Do you protect your children? Do you work to put food on the table? Do you protect your wife? The answer is no doubt “yes” to all of these questions. Now, do you appreciate and understand your best friends commitment to his family? Of course you do. Do you want his family to do well? Do you want his wife and children to be protected? Of course you do. Would you even help his family in time of need to reach their goals? Of course you would. Ultimately though, you are solely responsible for your family and their welfare. This is nationalism on a very small scale.

In America we live in a culture and society that is anti tradition. Tradition is really too deep for us because it means commitment to something more than television shows and beer. It scares us to think that there are people willing to die for something. A man needs to know where he comes from. He needs to honor his ancestors. He needs to be working towards the man that his ancestors would be proud of. This is not an easy task.

The first step to becoming a nationalist is to explore your roots. Find out all that you can about your family and your ancestors; the good, the bad and the ugly. If you don’t know the traditions of your culture, learn them. You need to speak the language of your ancestors. You can get a basic idea and some good leads on the internet but it will eventually be necessary to connect with people. See if there is a cultural organization in your area. Churches tend to be places where traditions are kept pretty closely, both ethnic and religious.

Dig a little deeper into your heritage and one thing that you will be certain to find is traditional gender roles. In America many immigrant communities lose this after the first generation, but the seeds are still there in all cultures. If you wish to get married and settle down, this is a great place to meet a potential wife. Don’t rule out going overseas either. You will find as you dig deeper into your cultural heritage that matronly, feminine women are prized over all. If you are looking for a real, stable marriage you will need to look overseas nowadays. American women are not worth marrying. Find a woman who is also a nationalist. She will be the encouragement and support that you need as well as a suitable mother for your offspring.

Learn the warrior roots of  you heritage. Learn the tales of famous warriors, find paintings, statues or pictures of them online and get one for you office or study. I find that it helps me tremendously pre-workout to think on my ancestors a bit, particularly the warrior aspect; it invigorates me. I also listen to music from my culture while I lift weights.

Once you have dug deeper into this part of your identity hold fast to it. Make it a part of your very fabric. Although women are not the primary reason why we do anything, having a strong identity is like catnip to them. It’s just an added bonus for you.

Finally, after time and true integration into your own life you must pass this on to the next generation. Whether it be your own sons, your nephews, cousins it doesn’t matter. This is the essence of tradition, that it is past down form one generation to another. It is a sacred duty for all men.

If you have any experience with this yourself please comment to help your brothers out.

Until next time.

 

Assertive Masculinity Part II

 

 

 

 

Another essential aspect of assertive masculinity  is masculine energy. What is masculine energy? I’m not sure that it can even be put into words. When a man has it you can see it and you can feel it. You can even see it in still photography, you know when a man has it. Women can spot it from a mile away and find it both irresistible and rare nowadays. I have finally found an explanation on this topic that has eluded me for a while. This explanation comes from Mishima’s commentary on the Hagakure, the Samurai code. In it he touches on the virility of men. He touches on mania. The author of the Hagakure states that greatness cannot be achieved in a normal state of mind. Men must be virile, they must act like men. This is why it is so disturbing to those who do not possess it. This is why people try to denigrate the jock, the masculine and the military man. These men, among others, posses a sort of mania, a masculine frenzy. This is what makes them successful. People may think what they want, but according to the author of the Hagakure, “Greatness does not happen in a normal state of mind.”

That being said, how can we gain masculine energy? Where does it come from?

Masculine energy could best be described as the overflow of a man’s internal state, its authentic, it cannot be faked. “Modeling” is of the utmost importance here. A man should have several role models that exhibit this energy. Having at least one who is living and observable is essential but the rest can be men from history, or even a fictional character that resonates with you. The important thing is to keep it as a tool that will advance you to your goal, rather than getting stuck in only acting as if and not being. Here are some of the things that can be used to cultivate your masculine energy. I will give one word of warning; as with respect you can only cultivate masculine energy for yourself, not for others.

Being the Man:  Years ago a good friend of mine made a very astute observation. He claimed that women are attracted to a strong man willing to be kind rather than a nice guy trying to be strong. There is a lot of wisdom in this saying. An alpha doesn’t judge people, he protects all, he shows all respect. In order to make any of the following work for you, you must first be “good at being a man”. Plain and simple. This is really the fun part of the whole thing. Be unashamed to be a man. Do the masculine things that you want to do! Life is worth living.

Posture: Posture is both a reflection of how you see yourself as well as a signal to others of your status. Posture must be actively worked on daily. There is a cause and effect relationship here; the better you feel about yourself, the better the posture, the better the posture the better you feel about yourself. Personally I have worked these exercises into my routine and they have helped tremendously. Give them time, it did take me about 6 months to start feeling the results.

Vocal tone: Like your posture your vocal tone and timbre of speech contribute to your masculine energy. Like posture this is both a cause and effect. Speak clearly, say less, speak audibly, and deeply. The more you do this the more masculine you will feel. The more masculine you feel the deeper you will speak.

Confidence: Ahhh…confidence. The Holy Grail that every man is seemingly in search of.  “Confidence” has been thrown around for the past ten years over the internet as the magic elixir for picking up women. While it certainly helps with the opposite sex, confidence is much deeper than that. Confidence is needed in every day life, in both the mundane and the extraordinary. Confidence is gained by expanding your comfort zone. Confidence can be gained only by action and proper thought. If you lack confidence there are two things that will help. First, you must think confidently. See yourself as someone who is competent and courageous, able to do the things that you set out to do. Journaling and daily quiet time will be necessary for this. You must also actively engage your thinking. Often, lack of confidence will come from your past experiences and your thinking gets caught up in a vicious, unconfident, fearful cycle. Its going to take work but the rewards will be worth it. Secondly, it is important to push yourself in your actions. Often, the most mundane things are causes of anxiety. Do you not like crowds? Force yourself to go to a party. Are you shy? Force yourself to talk to several people, particularly women each day. These may seem like trivial matters, but the little things add up to big things. Ultimately confidence is gained by action.

Friendliness: Jack Donovan compares the alpha male to an “older brother” figure. I agree with this. One of the characteristics is an easy going friendliness. Very masculine men who are confident are extremely friendly, kind and approachable. As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why so many people are attracted to them. They are also a father type figure. They are warm. Be interested in the world around you. Many big time alphas are knowledgeable about other cultures, well travelled and speak other languages.

Caring: This goes right along with the friendliness. Caring has often been portrayed as a “feminine trait” which it is, if it is expressed in a feminine way. Think of the stern master seargent or master chief in the military. They are stoic disciplinarians, and you don’t want to get on their bad side. Really, this sterness is caring. They must be the strict in order to teach men to survive almost unsurvivable situations. Often, a masculine man needs to be very stern, the disciplinarian. He does this in his role at work and particularly in the home. This comes from his ultimate care of the one whom he disciplines and cannot be compared to putting someone else down in order to elevate himself.

Virility: To me this is something that we often overlook. I have met several very masculine men in my life who were in their 70’s yet maintained this youthful kind of energy and enthusiasm. If my memory serves me, the things they had in common were as follows: they were either retired or ex military, police or they were foreigners. They were all physically active, mentally sharp, aware, friendly and paternal. What does it mean to be virile? Virility is strength, drive, manliness and even your sex drive. Virility encompasses all of these above mentioned qualities; I never met and older, virile man who was angry, depressed or complaining. Much of this virility comes from a long held belief in their own masculinity and a positive type of entitlement, particularly in regards to women and how they expect to be treated by women. As I think about it these men in their later years also possess clarity and acuity. This is how important T levels are in older age. No matter how old you are in the present moment, now is the time to start. Don’t let yourself degenerate in thought. Study a foreign language, music or simply study things that will interest you and keep your brain working. Never stop learning. The other thing that I noticed about these men is that all of them were fit even into their 70’s and 80’s.

 

 

Cold Showers and Excellence

After taking ice cold showers in the morning for several years, I recently realized what I had truly learned from these showers.

What I realized is that I was doing the bare minimum, just kind of sucking it up and getting it over with. This was fine, but after a while I needed to grow. It was then that I realized this was a moment to excel, to push myself. The cold shower itself was uncomfortable enough, but forcing myself to stand under it the complete time and other small adjustments enabled me to push myself further.

There is a huge difference between doing something, even something strong or noble, with an aggressive attitude or a defensive attitude. The difference lies in this: with any combat sport if you get back on your heels and just block punches you will eventually get hit. Actually, you are gonna get pulverized. If you get aggressive, block and counter you may still get hit, but you are going to move the fight in your direction.

How many times have you gone into the gym to crush a workout and only wound up doing the bare minimum to call it a work out? Yes, you did it, but did you do it with excellence? This is difficult. One of the temptations in being task oriented is to become robotic just doing the task and crossing it off of your list. Don’t get me wrong, laying the foundation of making lists and completing them is necessary, but this is a stage that you must grow out of. The next stage is deeper, this is the arena where you battle not only your physical limitations but your emotional and spiritual limitations as well. This is a battle that we will all face for the rest of our lives.

The lesson applies to all facets of our existence. In work it will make the difference between a life of mediocrity and a life of excellence. For instance, if you have a blog in the hopes of making money you will want to work on it daily. You can write a few sentences here and there. Technically you’ve done what you set out to do; the bare minimum. The other option is to write, research, learn and doing whatever it takes to make your blog a success. This is excellence.

I recently began reading an autobiography of a man who completed Kyokushin Karate’s “30 Man Kumite”. For those unfamiliar with this, it is a grueling sparring session against 30 men consecutively for 1 minute each. The skill of the fighters faced also increases with each man. There are some certified bad asses roaming this planet who have also completed the “100 Man Kumite” and a “300 Man Kumite”. I digress. This book is interesting in that it is really the author’s karate autobiography. The point is that all of his training for his whole life came down to this moment, it prepared him for this moment. All of the difficult training was its own philosophy, it taught him what he needed to learn. It taught him to understand in strength. Had the author not pursued excellence in his training at all times he may not have been passed this test later in his life.

It takes work and strength of mind to build ourselves up in this way. We live in a society where people expect accolades for just showing up. We also live in a society where appearing to be is just as good as actually being. We all want the rewards without the blood, sweat and tears. This is one of the many, many benefits of the combat arts; when you get into the ring or on the mat with someone else you are authentic, there is no faking your skills. There are no excuses, you find out who you really are and what you are made of. I recently watched a documentary on Vice’s “Fightland” about a dojo in Amman, Jordan. One interviewee, a very religious man, stressed how he was planning on fighting in the ring because he said, “I don’t want to lie to others and I don’t want to lie to myself.” He wanted to find out exactly what he was made of. He was searching for authenticity. This is a truly noble search.

 

Valentine’s Day-Classical Man Style

 

As the beta tsunami, also known as “Valentine’s Day” barrels along towards its crest, here are some thoughts from the Classical Man.

1) Valentine’s Day is a commercially fabricated holiday. It exists only to sell stuff. Read this as: it exists only for guys to buy things for women.

2) The real St. Valentine was beheaded for his faith in ancient times, he wouldn’t recant what he believed in, even in the face of death. Now that is manly.

3) Many a guy is moving warp speed toward the “friend zone” right now, thinking that he can buy a woman’s affection with gifts. He would be much better off just not caring. Flowers do not equal sex.

4) Next week will be the week long, depressive waiting period for beta orbiters who have professed their love. They will be checking their phones obsessively looking for a response to their epic confession of undying romance, because after all, it works in the movies. Meanwhile back at the ranch, the object of his affection is busy trying to get the attention of the aloof alpha male who could care less about her.

5) Saturday night will be the night where the beta orbiters, nice guys and such will be sitting around whining about how they have no date this year for Valentine’s. They have done everything “right” yet she is out with that jerk instead of him. Keep being “nice” and maybe some woman will come to her senses and realize what a great guy you are next year. Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

The prescription:

Get to the gym

Watch an old school action movie, cowboy movie or martial arts movie. You can’t go wrong with John Wayne, Arnold, Stallone or Wesley Snipes.

Are you in a relationship? Then go get your girl something nice, don’t over do it, its just a token of your affection. The golden rule with gifts for women is this: if you are doing it with the intent of getting something back it will not work. Just give for the sake of giving, give from a place of strength.

Be the man that you want to be, go have fun, enjoy life.

Remember the real St. Valentine; a man who would not compromise his beliefs in the face of death.

 

 

Be, Do, Mentor, Teach

I was at one of my Krav Maga sessions last night when I realized something. I’ve been working out at this place for close to 5 years and I really noticed last night how there are getting to be more and more women there. Before I go further I must say that I don’t really have a problem with women studying martial arts. If I had a daughter you can bet that she would be taking martial arts lessons and learning how to shoot. I like when women tell me that they are getting their concealed handgun license or I see them at the range.

That being said, my major concern is; where are the men? Men need the company of other men. Men need to train with other men. Boys and those learning need to be taught by men who have experienced what they are teaching.

No one can teach what they don’t know. You can convey theory, you can teach figures and dates but when the rubber hits the road you must have the experience to pass on to another generation. This is one of the beauties of any combat art; you can talk all you want but when the fighting starts all present will see what you are really capable of. Women cannot teach boys to be men, nor can they teach men to be warriors.

Why are men dropping out? They are dropping out of things like the martial arts. Black men, white men, Hispanic men, Asian men, they are all dropping out of the workforce. The last time I hired someone in March of 2014, I interviewed about 35 people; 2 of them were men.

All things around us are becoming feminized. The very structure of life is being built around women now. From the education system to the local dojo and places of employment societal structure favours the feminine. Men, especially those who are searching for their purpose and sense of self, feel lost in this quagmire. They want to be masculine men, but are afraid that there is something wrong with that, after all this is what they’ve been told since kindergarten.

Jack Donovan makes an excellent point in “The Way of Men”. He writes that no one at the higher levels of politics or society will do anything about this. There is too much money being made by too many people across the political spectrum to effect any change. He proposes that we start locally, on a personal level. I completely agree. Here are several things that every one of us can do daily to make a difference:

1) Be the man. Your masculine development is of tantamount importance. It is your birthright and your calling. Become the man that you want to be. Reading and knowledge is important,  but only action will get you there. Stand tall, stand proud of who you are, be not ashamed of thy masculinity.

2) As you grow in your masculinity it is time to teach and mentor. How do you know when you are at that point? You will know by feedback from other people. You won’t solicit this feedback, when people see that you are good at being a man they will let you know. They will tell you things like how protected they feel when you are around, how much integrity you have, how much of a difference that you have made in someone else’s life, how you are like a father figure to an organization. You will start to see these things as well, you will start to notice how both men and women are affected by your presence and your unwavering manliness, they are drawn to you. Be involved in life.

3) Spend time with men more than women. Male bonding is essential. When possible find male teachers for things that you want to learn. Start some sort of manly organization. Spar with other men, work out with other men, go shooting with other men. Spending too much time around women dulls our senses and our edge. Always have polarity with women.

4) Challenge yourself and learn. Find men who possess virtues and strengths that you are working on and learn from them. Read and educate yourself. The established educational system has absolutely no use for you being an educated man; that is the last thing they want, they fear it. Learn on your own and challenge them. None of us will ever be a complete man, there will always be someone who is more alpha than us. We must humbly accept this and open ourselves to learning from other men as well.

5) Divest yourself from shame. When I was in my early teens we moved from the east coast to the west coast. I remember school, my teachers, and television teaching me to be ashamed for being a man. I learned shame for wanting manly things, for being a man, the masculine idols that I looked up to were trashed, replaced with more gender neutral, harmless beings. The level of shame that I felt for being a man was oppressive to a teenager looking for his place in the world, it was discouraging. It takes a conscious rejection of this system to overcome it, that is what I had to do. I believe that this shame alone is enough to subdue ones testosterone, but that is just my personal opinion. You must realize that all these thoughts and impressions are smoke and mirrors designed to oppress your soul, don’t listen to them. Don’t allow anyone to shame you for being a man or for anything about you, the greatest freedom is to be yourself. Once again: be not ashamed of thy masculinity.

Masculinity is a perishable skill, if we don’t use it and cultivate it daily, we will absolutely lose it.