Valentine’s Day

A few years ago I wrote a post about Valentine’s Day. This has been one of my most read posts over the years. I want to touch on Valentine’s day again as it can be such a trap for men in our culture. The trap that I will cover this year is specifically aimed at men in a committed relationship. Remember that Valentine’s Day is a fabricated holiday, it reaps financial rewards for greeting card makers, candy makers and jewelers just to name a few. That being said, the object of your affection will be under great pressure from her friends and society at large to be treated extra special by you on this day. If you follow the narrative set by romance movies and society she will quickly lose respect for you and start to look elsewhere. Its a hard truth but I can tell you that in my younger days I had more relationships end after having sent flowers to a woman than any other reason.

I’m not against doing kind things for your woman or buying her gifts now and then, as long as it is on your terms and coming from a position of strength. These times where I lost the girl, I was coming from a position of weakness and she could sense it a mile away. Receiving flowers from me actually disgusted her. Let that sink in.

You might ask how to balance your terms with her feelings? Well, here is how: always be in control. You must, being the man, control the relationship. This doesn’t mean to be controlling, but rather, as the man, you are in charge, you are the head of the household, the head of the relationship. You are the strong, attractive man whom she respects. This has to happen before Valentine’s day. This has to happen from your first interaction with any woman. Assuming that you have done this during the course of your relationship, the majority of the pressure to perform on Valentine’s day is off of you. The reason is that she already gushes when she talks to her friends about you. If you’ve followed this advice I guarantee that you are the man that her friends wish they were sleeping with. This gives you a LARGE margin of error.

If you haven’t been living this life then trying to do something monumental on Valentine’s Day will only start the ball rolling for the end of your relationship. What you can do is right now is begin to live with purpose, live for yourself, take charge of the relationship, establish and maintain polarity and of course, always be the most well dressed man in any room.

I have to attach a warning to this post. If you choose to live as you want, to be a man, then you will encounter push back from her. She will test you, its totally normal. At this point you will choose your future. You can fall into her frame which will contribute to you losing her. You can maintain your frame and pass the test or you can maintain your frame and realize that she is no longer the woman that you want to devote time to. The choice is yours.

 

 

Until next time.

Basics of Manly Style

A man must look good, he must know how to dress, yet he is not a metrosexual who is overly concerned with his appearance. The basic underlying element of all masculine style is to never compromise on his masculinity. Here are some very basic tips for dressing like a man and establishing a basic masculine wardrobe.

1) Don’t let women dress you. “What?!?!?” you may ask. “Isn’t this the best way to look good? After all women know what they like in a man!”. Allowing women to dress you will get you the same results as asking them relationship advice. It will not get you where you want to be. Here is the deal: ask a woman what she wants in a relationship and she will tell you about being nice etc… You will be nice until the cows come home while she is sleeping with your best friend who is doing everything the opposite of what she told you she wants. The same goes for clothing. She will buy you trendy clothes, the latest fads. You will look like every other guy on the planet. Trends are marketed to boys and boy-men, not real men. Masculine style on the other hand is more timeless. It is more mature, independent. You can dress trendy like everyone else, but you will be as unnoticeable and average as everyone else too.

2) Wear well fitting clothes. For some reason, most guys seem to think that buying a shirt with a collar on it automatically means that they have dressed up. You may feel that way but if the shirt does not fit you well you will look like you picked it up off the rack at Target. Buy shirts that are somewhat fitted. If you can, go for something slim fit, or ultra slim fit. Every man should have one or two custom tailored shirts. Make sure that you purchase dress shirts with sleeves under the collars for collar stays. These will add an extra element of sharpness to your appearance. When purchasing dress pants, even if you get them off the rack, you will need to get them tailored. Finding a good tailor is essential for every man. Your pants need to look perfect. The cuff must fall at the right place, not too short, nor too long. Don’t buy pants with pleats in them. To add an extra element of style and sophistication go with French cuffs, cufflinks and pocket square.

3) Wear solid colors and avoid all uneccasary patterns. As with posture and body language, people respond sub consciously to colors as well. Wearing conservative colors with basic patterns or no patterns at all. This will sub consciously communicate strength and power. Shirts should be basic as well. Skip the non functional add-ons such as epaulettes, logos, designs and other sorts of bells and whistles. Keep it simple and masculine. Even t shirts should fit reasonably well.

4) Finally, if James Bond wouldn’t wear it outside then neither should you. Use this as a measuring stick when choosing clothing.

These simple steps will ensure a solid foundation in the building of a masculine wardrobe.

Manly Fragrance

An important part of being a man is smelling like a man. There is a time and a place for everything. When you are playing football with the guys, working on your car, fixing something at home you don’t need to be drowning in cologne. On the other hand, when you put on that suit, tuxedo or casual jeans and blazer, you better be smelling good.
There is no shortage of colognes out there. It seems that everyone has their own brand now. Who knows, maybe one day you can buy the “Classical Man” cologne at Macy’s. In the meantime, it is important to find a cologne with the right mixtures that will smell good on you.

The most important rule is this: you get what you pay for. Brut, Old Spice and other “aftershaves” are not for you and they smell cheap. A good cologne will cost you, but worn properly a bottle will last you at least one year. You must find a cologne that smells good to you and makes you feel good. A good cologne will mix with the oils in your skin, so they all smell slightly different on each individual. It is good to experiment at first to find the right cologne for you.

I will give one word of warning; be very careful about most commercial brand colognes. First, many of them nowadays have a slightly feminine hint to them. You want to avoid this for the obvious reason, but also because when you notice the smell on yourself it changes your mood. For instance, if you are wearing a very masculine smelling cologne you will feel like a man, it will increase your drive. Who knows, it may even increase your testosterone levels based on your feelings. On the contrary, if you are wearing a cologne with a slightly feminine hint to it, you will feel more feminine, it will affect how you see yourself and how you feel about yourself. I don’t think any one of us wants to feel feminine.

Right now I am wearing “Dusk” by Herban Cowboy. I like “Dusk” for several reasons. First, it is natural; no synthetics. There seems to be some speculation out there as to the effect of synthetic colognes on testosterone in men. Secondly, it smells great! It has a woodsy, rustic, masculine scent. Women compliment me on it often. Third, its not well known yet, therefore I get a lot of people asking, “What cologne is that? I like it!” Finally, its cruelty free. I personally don’t believe that some poor animal should suffer so that I smell good. Men are not cruel to the innocent or weak; this means animals too.

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Why Every Man Needs a Three Piece Suit

Every man needs to own a custom tailored 3 piece suit. The 3 piece is the most versatile of suit styles as you can wear it as 3 piece or a standard 2 piece without the vest. Wearing a custom tailored three piece suit to any function makes a man stand out above the rest.

Lets face it, most men do not know how to dress. We have become more and more casual over the years to the point that shorts, t-shirts and tennis shoes have become standard dress for most “guys”. That is fine for “guys” and boys, but it is not worthy of a man. A man needs to know how to look good. Looking good is vastly different than being overly concerned about one’s looks, the classical man is no metrosexual. Knowing how to look good and look sharp is an essential element of being a man. To paraphrase Tom Ford, shorts belong at the beach or at the tennis court. If you are not used to dressing well, then you are at the beginning of a very fruitful journey. The man who dresses well immediately attracts the attention of the opposite sex. The man who dresses well also grabs the attention of passers by and possible business contacts. People will treat you differently when you dress well, it is a difference that you will easily get used to.

The three piece suit will cost you a little more than a two piece, but I encourage you to spend the money for the versatility. If it is your first, or only suit, I would encourage you to go with navy blue or black. These are the two standard colours for men. If you have other suits already you may want to consider a lighter colour such as tan, which is a classic for a summer suit. For your business dealings a pinstripe suit is the ultimate in classical boardroom power.

I will provide a link at the bottom of the page for custom tailored clothing, including three piece suits. You design the suit yourself and it is made just for you. For a custom tailored suit the affordability is unsurpassed. I myself own several suits and custom fitted shirts from this company and am extremely happy with my purchases. Are you not so sure about designing a custom tailored suit? The interactive 3D program allows you to go step by step. You can also add an element of fun to the process and ask one of your lady friends over to help you design the suit. Believe me, they love stuff like that. While she will be helpful, remember that the ultimate decision about your suit is yours and yours alone.

This link will automatically put you at the custom tailored shirt page, at the bottom you will see the navigation menu for other clothing options.

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Until next time.