A few years ago I wrote a post about Valentine’s Day. This has been one of my most read posts over the years. I want to touch on Valentine’s day again as it can be such a trap for men in our culture. The trap that I will cover this year is specifically aimed at men in a committed relationship. Remember that Valentine’s Day is a fabricated holiday, it reaps financial rewards for greeting card makers, candy makers and jewelers just to name a few. That being said, the object of your affection will be under great pressure from her friends and society at large to be treated extra special by you on this day. If you follow the narrative set by romance movies and society she will quickly lose respect for you and start to look elsewhere. Its a hard truth but I can tell you that in my younger days I had more relationships end after having sent flowers to a woman than any other reason.
I’m not against doing kind things for your woman or buying her gifts now and then, as long as it is on your terms and coming from a position of strength. These times where I lost the girl, I was coming from a position of weakness and she could sense it a mile away. Receiving flowers from me actually disgusted her. Let that sink in.
You might ask how to balance your terms with her feelings? Well, here is how: always be in control. You must, being the man, control the relationship. This doesn’t mean to be controlling, but rather, as the man, you are in charge, you are the head of the household, the head of the relationship. You are the strong, attractive man whom she respects. This has to happen before Valentine’s day. This has to happen from your first interaction with any woman. Assuming that you have done this during the course of your relationship, the majority of the pressure to perform on Valentine’s day is off of you. The reason is that she already gushes when she talks to her friends about you. If you’ve followed this advice I guarantee that you are the man that her friends wish they were sleeping with. This gives you a LARGE margin of error.
If you haven’t been living this life then trying to do something monumental on Valentine’s Day will only start the ball rolling for the end of your relationship. What you can do is right now is begin to live with purpose, live for yourself, take charge of the relationship, establish and maintain polarity and of course, always be the most well dressed man in any room.
I have to attach a warning to this post. If you choose to live as you want, to be a man, then you will encounter push back from her. She will test you, its totally normal. At this point you will choose your future. You can fall into her frame which will contribute to you losing her. You can maintain your frame and pass the test or you can maintain your frame and realize that she is no longer the woman that you want to devote time to. The choice is yours.
Until next time.