The Holidays, Tradition and Masculinity

Having just passed through Thanksgiving weekend we are officially in the midst of the holiday season. Many men that I know have dropped out of the holiday madness being disgusted by the commercialism that surrounds modern western holidays. After all, why wouldn’t you want to drop out? The reality is that any religious meaning, anything deeper than Black Friday was stripped away from the holidays long ago.  What is Thanksgiving but a day to spend with family giving thanks for all of the good things that you have, expressing the manly virtue of gratitude. Yet today Thanksgiving means wasting time watching football, then stuffing yourself to the point of nausea in a gluttony fueled orgy of food. Maybe you’ll sleep on the couch after watching a superhero movie only to be aroused at 4am to get on line at the local mall for a “Black Friday” deal. Don’t forget to run into the bathroom a couple of times to jack off too. Truth be told, I’m depressed just writing about it.

But, dropping out is the way of the coward. This is because men are needed to bring back the traditions and the deeper meanings of life. There is a great line in Charles Sledge’s book, “Man Up”; “A healthy world is forged by healthy nations, healthy nations are forged by strong tribes, strong tribes are forged by strong families, strong families are forged by strong men.”
Gentlemen, we are the guardians of tradition. As we all know, women are emotionally driven and therefore will be blown like leaves in the wind. We men are the rock, the solid foundation of family life and the greater society as a whole. We are the bedrock of our families, churches, businesses, and society as a whole. Our traditions guide us, give us a constant light in all times of happiness or sadness. Tradition is important. Myth is important. Legend is important. Our ancestors knew this. People only two generations ago knew this. We urgently need to reconnect with this. Our nations, societies and families need us to reconnect with this.

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Identity is critical to a man. Identity is just as important to a family and society as it is to an individual. Look at it this way; tradition and myth are to a family what frame is to a man. They are the guiding force, the boundaries that everyone knows and respects. They are the customs of how we show respect to each other, to honor your ancestors and your God. The key with traditions is that they must be diligently kept and observed. They are perishable and fragile. They can disappear in a generation, and many have. The holidays are the perfect time to rediscover traditions.

There are two different types of tradition in relation to the holidays. The first type of traditions are the age old traditions of your culture. If you’ve grown up in the west disconnected from your heritage then now is the time to find it. All it takes is a few internet searches and you can easily find ways that your not so distant ancestors celebrated Christmas and the New Year. Expand this to other feasts throughout the year. You’ll find that your ancestors celebrated everything. They lived a cycle of life much different from us yet much healthier. If you are a Christian you will find this in the cycles of fasting and feasting laid out throughout the year.

The second type of tradition has to do with the details of your family life. These are the little things that you do with your family like trekking out in the snow somewhere to cut down a Christmas tree or a certain type of Christmas cookie that your wife makes perfectly for you. These types of tradition are extremely important as they give you and your family shared, happy experiences to enjoy together and forge your bonds with each other.

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It is important that you are the driving force behind this. Let your woman know what these traditions are and that they are to be kept diligently. She will take that from you and do everything in her power to produce your wishes for the respective holiday down to the last detail. You will enjoy watching her fuss over the smallest detail to please you and your wishes.
If you are not married yet then spend time with your family, observing your family traditions. Take care to learn them. Those who are passing the torch to you will not live forever. You need to take up that torch as a man and carry it forward, one day passing it on to your offspring. You will carry this tradition on with you when you get married. If you don’t get along with your family now, or you live away from them, use this time to research what you will want things to look like when you do have a family of your own.

Until next time.

What Does It Mean to Be Strong?

Being strong physically and emotionally is essential to being a man. Emotional strength is something that is sorely lacking in today’s men. Emotional strength is so important that this is why other men and women are hard wired to shit test you. Yes, other men will shit test you and if you think about it, you shit test other men. The reason is simple: women shit test to see if you are a worthy mate, men shit test to see if you are someone worthy of allowing into their tribe. Ultimately, a shit test is something that is testing your emotional strength.

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In short, emotional strength boils down to having an incredibly strong sense of self. The lion knows who he is. There is no angst, no anxiety, no worry, he IS the king of the jungle.

 

A strong sense of self is your frame. If you read any PUA sites or forums you’ll immediately notice that frame and frame control are among the most written about topics. The PUA definition of frame is certainly true, yet myopic. Your frame is much more than just passing shit tests and controlling your interactions with women. Your frame is your belief system. It is the set of beliefs that guide you in all interactions, not just with women. Once you’ve established your belief system then you must be congruent with your inner beliefs. This is often referred to as integrity. Behaving this way becomes your frame. You need to know who you are, how you interact with the world around you. Violating your integrity will cost you. The less you live authentically, the more depressed you become.

To begin with, you must find your core values and beliefs. Who are you and what do you stand for? What are your non negotiable stances? You should know who you are in relation to all things. If you don’t know any of these things then work on establishing these foundations. One of my favorite quotes on this topic comes from “Operation Werewolf”: “Know who you are by becoming who you want to be.”

Who do you want to be? What would you look like if you were this man? How would you behave if you were the man that you want to be? What would that man stand for? How would his relationships be with other people? Be honest with yourself. Remember, you are not living someone else’s life and they aren’t living  yours. In this quest of yours taking time to write in a journal will be essential. I would also recommend controlling your thoughts by mindfulness and presence. Once you have a basic idea then begin to act like that man. Action will be the only thing that changes you. Be authentic. As you gain strength your own weaknesses will be more apparent to you. This can be frustrating. For most guys it is demoralizing and they give up. While you will act to correct your weaknesses, you should also accept that you have them; every man does. As you uncover more and more of yourself in relation to who you want to be, your ideal may change. This is OK, it means that you are growing.

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Strive for consistency in your moods and behaviors but balance it with passion for life and fearlessness. While I am a major fan of reading and educating myself, much of your progress in this area will come from the ring or the gym. In order to know yourself and who you really are you must fight and you must lift. Getting into a ring with another man and fighting or grappling is a great equalizer; there is no bullshit. The gym will also teach this to you as 300 lbs is always going to be 300 lbs; either you can lift it or you can’t. As Henry Rollins said; “Learning about what you’re made of is time well spent and I’ve found no better teacher.”

Finally, its not all about you. Others are relying on you to be a strong man; society, your business, your buddies, your wife, your kids,, your animals and your parents. They all need you more than ever to dig deep down and become the strong man that you are destined to be.

Until next time.

 

Masculine Pursuits

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Recently I wrote a post about masculine sports. This post will be about some other masculine pursuits that could make up a man’s leisure time. For a man, there really isn’t something called “free time” and there is certainly no time spent in idleness. We all need time away, time for leisure, but what sets “leisure” aside is that it is always constructive. Leisure isn’t idle time wasted binge watching Netflix. Leisure is pursuing character building activities that also relax us. This allow us to recharge, an essential part of living that many of us have forgotten today. Wasting “free time” doing nothing leaves you feeling empty, regretful and depressed. Using your leisure time for character building will leave you feeling refreshed, constructive and accomplished. You’ll leave your vacation or your weekend feeling like more of a man, you’ll feel invigorated. While your normal routine of working out, martial arts and sports satisfy the visceral side of you some balance is important. Aim to be the impeccably dressed man with a black eye who is able to talk about Shostakovitch. Trust me, women go crazy for this type of man.

I want to explain one thing: I’m not against watching good movies that contribute to your masculine education. There are many foreign movies that are easily obtainable and have strong, masculine leads. My only advice would be to limit movie watching to 1 per week at the most. As for television it is mostly a waste of time. Again, you may find some series on line that are foreign and worth watching. Just remember that even good, character building movies and television shows must be watched in moderation.

That being said, here is a break down of some masculine pursuits for you leisure time:

 

 

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The Arts: You don’t have to be a pianist, painter or anything else. You do need to have an appreciation for the arts. You should be completely familiar with classical composers and their works as well as artists and their works. Explore the different periods and styles, learn what to listen to or look for. Find your favorite. Decorate your home and office with art. You can buy affordable prints of classical art online. Put them in a nice frame and know the story behind the scene in the painting, the artist and what he was trying to represent. You should be a regular at your local symphony and art museums. Finally, look for new artists who are doing things that you like and support them. Become a patron of the arts, help to bring about a resurgence of classical arts and music.

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Writing: This is a double pronged pursuit. You should be writing in a journal at least once per day. Maybe you discover along the way that you have a knack for writing and you have something to say. Maybe you want to write a novel, a biography or a philosophical treatise. Either way, keeping a journal is a fantastic way to see where your mind is, what you are thinking and what kinds of patterns are coming up in your life. Some days I’ll write pages and pages, other days its only a paragraph or two. The quality of my life has vastly improved through journal writing.

Chess: This is the king of all games. Chess is an amazing way to develop your mind, learn about people and keep your mind sharp. Chess is best played after dinner while having some cognac. Chess will teach you about people, thinking ahead, and adapting your strategy to evolving conditions. Play it against a real person, face to face.

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Travel/Exploring/Hiking: It is essential to get outside and experience the world at large. If traveling the world isn’t in your budget right now then travel your country, your state or your city. The key is to get out and experience life, expanding your horizons. Additionally, there are very few ways to clear your head like a good hike in nature. You should get out to nature often with no distractions. Camping is also a great pursuit and a practical skill as well. Challenge yourself to learn new skills each time you go camping so that you become more and more self reliant. If you are a father of boys then you have no option, you must teach them how to be outdoors men.

Spending time with others: We live in a technological, isolated society. People have hundreds of Facebook “friends” yet no real friends that they actually spend time with. Choose your friends carefully, trust very few. When you have established a small social circle of trusted male friends it becomes a great stress reducer to spend time with them. Your friends should be trustworthy. There is no such thing as a “frienemy”. If you can’t trust them, they shouldn’t be in your social circle. You cannot trust “friends” that you have made over social media. You cannot trust someone until you have looked into their eyes and spent time with them. The internet is full of frauds. Get out into the meat space.

That brings me to the next level: spending time with beautiful women. You should limit your time with women lest you become feminized. There is no such thing as “friends” of the opposite sex. Don’t waste your time. Your time is valuable, you have many things that you are doing, spending time with a beautiuful woman is a great masculine pursuit. Beautiful women are extremely feminine. Enjoy relaxing with her and observing how your masculinity and her femininity feed off of each other. In general, don’t waste your time with American women unless you find one who has rejected modern American way of life. Increase your odds dramatically by finding foreign women, preferably from your ancestral background.

Philosophy/Theology: Knowing at least the basics of philosophical ideas is absolutely necessary. Reading and learning philsophy makes you a better conversationalist, teaches critical thinking skills, broadens your horizons and helps you to see how others think. Begin with the great philosophers as well as the major political philosophies. Likewise, learn about the theology of your own religion as well as having a general knowledge of other major theologies as well.

Every thing that we do must contribute to our masculinity. In addition to masculine sport, these masculine pursuits will lead to a full, balanced, masculine life.

Until next time.