I was at one of my Krav Maga sessions last night when I realized something. I’ve been working out at this place for close to 5 years and I really noticed last night how there are getting to be more and more women there. Before I go further I must say that I don’t really have a problem with women studying martial arts. If I had a daughter you can bet that she would be taking martial arts lessons and learning how to shoot. I like when women tell me that they are getting their concealed handgun license or I see them at the range.
That being said, my major concern is; where are the men? Men need the company of other men. Men need to train with other men. Boys and those learning need to be taught by men who have experienced what they are teaching.
No one can teach what they don’t know. You can convey theory, you can teach figures and dates but when the rubber hits the road you must have the experience to pass on to another generation. This is one of the beauties of any combat art; you can talk all you want but when the fighting starts all present will see what you are really capable of. Women cannot teach boys to be men, nor can they teach men to be warriors.
Why are men dropping out? They are dropping out of things like the martial arts. Black men, white men, Hispanic men, Asian men, they are all dropping out of the workforce. The last time I hired someone in March of 2014, I interviewed about 35 people; 2 of them were men.
All things around us are becoming feminized. The very structure of life is being built around women now. From the education system to the local dojo and places of employment societal structure favours the feminine. Men, especially those who are searching for their purpose and sense of self, feel lost in this quagmire. They want to be masculine men, but are afraid that there is something wrong with that, after all this is what they’ve been told since kindergarten.
Jack Donovan makes an excellent point in “The Way of Men”. He writes that no one at the higher levels of politics or society will do anything about this. There is too much money being made by too many people across the political spectrum to effect any change. He proposes that we start locally, on a personal level. I completely agree. Here are several things that every one of us can do daily to make a difference:
1) Be the man. Your masculine development is of tantamount importance. It is your birthright and your calling. Become the man that you want to be. Reading and knowledge is important, but only action will get you there. Stand tall, stand proud of who you are, be not ashamed of thy masculinity.
2) As you grow in your masculinity it is time to teach and mentor. How do you know when you are at that point? You will know by feedback from other people. You won’t solicit this feedback, when people see that you are good at being a man they will let you know. They will tell you things like how protected they feel when you are around, how much integrity you have, how much of a difference that you have made in someone else’s life, how you are like a father figure to an organization. You will start to see these things as well, you will start to notice how both men and women are affected by your presence and your unwavering manliness, they are drawn to you. Be involved in life.
3) Spend time with men more than women. Male bonding is essential. When possible find male teachers for things that you want to learn. Start some sort of manly organization. Spar with other men, work out with other men, go shooting with other men. Spending too much time around women dulls our senses and our edge. Always have polarity with women.
4) Challenge yourself and learn. Find men who possess virtues and strengths that you are working on and learn from them. Read and educate yourself. The established educational system has absolutely no use for you being an educated man; that is the last thing they want, they fear it. Learn on your own and challenge them. None of us will ever be a complete man, there will always be someone who is more alpha than us. We must humbly accept this and open ourselves to learning from other men as well.
5) Divest yourself from shame. When I was in my early teens we moved from the east coast to the west coast. I remember school, my teachers, and television teaching me to be ashamed for being a man. I learned shame for wanting manly things, for being a man, the masculine idols that I looked up to were trashed, replaced with more gender neutral, harmless beings. The level of shame that I felt for being a man was oppressive to a teenager looking for his place in the world, it was discouraging. It takes a conscious rejection of this system to overcome it, that is what I had to do. I believe that this shame alone is enough to subdue ones testosterone, but that is just my personal opinion. You must realize that all these thoughts and impressions are smoke and mirrors designed to oppress your soul, don’t listen to them. Don’t allow anyone to shame you for being a man or for anything about you, the greatest freedom is to be yourself. Once again: be not ashamed of thy masculinity.
Masculinity is a perishable skill, if we don’t use it and cultivate it daily, we will absolutely lose it.