Who is Your Tyler Durden?

If you have ever seen the movie “Fight Club” then you know exactly who I am writing about. You probably know exactly why as well. No matter where we are in life, the character of Tyler Durden resonates with all of us, for good reason.

Now, what I am addressing is not the Tyler Durden who was blowing stuff up, who was basically a terrorist. What I am talking about here is being the man who you want to be, none of the illegal stuff. So, I am not advising you to do anything illegal. Obey the laws. That being said, here is the rest of the post.

Authenticity is the reason why we all are drawn to this character. From the very first meeting on the airplane, Tyler stands in stark contrast to Edward Norton’s character. Norton is caught up in a fake world. He is caught up, as 99.99999% of American men are, in fakery, consumerism, and corporate slavery. His life consists of one “single serving” after another. He lives a depressing existence, his inner warrior is dying a slow, agonizing death. He is not true to himself. Think about it, his character doesn’t even have a name in the movie, he is just a cog in the machine. As a matter of fact, at the time of day that I began this post, most nameless cogs are sitting in traffic, on the way to a job that they despise, having left a home whose mortgage payments are choking him, with a woman who he doesn’t really feel attraction to anymore and who has absolutely no respect for him. There is no polarity  in the relationship. Sound familiar?

Enter Tyler Durden. Tyler has no pretensions, no apologies, he can’t be manipulated because he is not going to do something that doesn’t fit in his life’s mission or purpose. He is solid, he is present because he is not worrying about what the other person thinks, or trying to influence their thoughts with his words. He is not a “people pleaser”. He asks questions that make Norton uncomfortable because he is direct. Tyler’s appearance gives rise to a movement that takes on a life of its own because, as in real life, their was a majority of silently suffering men who needed to find direction. I think it was said very succinctly in one conversation, “We are a generation raised by women.”

Here is my question to you. Who is your Tyler Durden? Think about it, but the answer is simple; he is the man that you have always wanted to be. Tyler Durden is as different for Edward Norton’s character as he will be for me and for you and for your neighbor, coworker and friend. My fight club will be different than yours. For some it may be a real fight club, getting involved in some sort of martial art, for others it may be speaking up and letting their voice be heard, for someone else it may be taking the plunge and starting a business of his own, his dream job. It could be practicing assertive masculinity. The key is to be authentic, but in order to be authentic we must first find our purpose, and begin to formulate our goals. We can then begin to pull ourselves out of the “rat race” in all of its facets; including corporate and social; its all the same, its all poison. Political correctness, poison leaching into our bodies from soaps, deodorants, plastics, GMO food, factory farmed beef and chicken and pork, pollution, artificial lighting, smog, stress, etc have all taken their toll on our bodies, minds and souls. This is not how we are meant to live. Most guys will choose to live, or rather die this way, but we cannot. We will work for our dreams and goals, because we know that no one else will do it for us. So, while the dude who we spoke about earlier is dreaming about getting drunk on the weekend and playing Grand Theft Auto, we will be reaping the rewards of our hard work and discipline .

After his encounter with Durden and the founding of the fight club, Norton’s character undergoes a radical transformation. He realizes that the “reality” that he was living in was no reality at all. All the men in the fight club become transformed, with a clearer view of life and a definite vision of who they are. The world just looks different to them. At one point Norton makes the comment that after 1 month he didn’t even miss television. His thinking is cleared because the clutter has been removed from his life. Once the veil of the cathedral and all of its propagandistic minions is lifted there is only the clear, fresh reality.

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