I had some interesting conversations over this past week that have led me to think a lot about relationships and dating. There is conventional “wisdom” out there saying that being friends is the secret to a long lasting relationship. I know many people who strived for this friendship in their marriages, and most of them, if not all, are now divorced. Focusing on being friends destroys polarity.
Being “friended” happens for a variety of reasons. The “friend zone” is an impossible pill for an alpha male to swallow for two reasons; women find him attractive due to his behavior, therefore they would not put him in that mental “friend zone” category. Second, if she ever did want to put him in that category, he would never allow himself to be denigrated as such, he would walk, there are plenty of other women waiting in the wings for him.
So what does it boil down to? Respect. If a woman does not respect a man, she will not find him attractive. She can definitely think that he is “nice” and “sweet” and possibly her “best friend” but she will in no way have any attraction for him. I repeat, she will have not attraction for him whatsoever. Therefore, why would any man want to introduce friendship into his marriage?
Of course the question now becomes; “How do I gain her respect?”. The answer is simple; if a man respects himself, his woman will want to respect him. Self respect is a deep and consistent inner journey, it cannot be given, it must be earned. It is therefore beneficial for a man to learn to respect himself by becoming the man that he has always wanted to be. An essential element of being any man is a strong masculine character. This character is developed from being, from doing, from living, from experience. The stronger the masculine character the more polarity increases, the more polarity increases the more her femininity will increase in response. The major part of respect in a relationship comes from this very polarity. If one is a man, enjoys being a man, does manly things, behaves in a manly way, she will have no choice but to be in love with him.
A large part of self respect in a relationship is being able to walk. If she doesn’t treat the alpha man according the his expectations, he walks. If there is any behavior that is unacceptable to him, he walks. Any relationship will have its quirks and disagreements, but a man must know where he draws the line. A man must always have the ability to walk away, no matter what his feelings. Should he choose a long term relationship, he must keep the polarity up for life. Ultimately, the dynamics of a relationship boil down to this; the man keeps up the manliness, the polarity, she keeps up her physical appearance. She continues to dress nice, to wear makeup, to take care of her body.
In an attempt to provide the best content that I can for this site I often research other writers both in print and on the web. I signed up for newsletters in order to keep a finger on the pulse of what is going on out there. I now receive endless emails about “getting my ex girlfriend back”, “how to get 20 phone numbers this weekend”, “how to pick up on college girls”. That is all well and good, but what does it do for me? I can get my ex back, I can get those 20 phone numbers this weekend, but if I don’t have that masculine polarity none of it will matter. It will all just be a meaningless show. The key is to be a man, to enjoy being a man and not backing down from my beliefs. This is what the “Classical Man” is all about. This attracts women to men like white on rice.